no supper tonight

NB: Text links are to destination Web sites; ”Pic” links are to my own shots on Flickr. 

I’ve lived just outside of Boston since December 2000; I’ve worked in several locations, I go into town on plenty of weekends–and yet I’m still pretty smitten. The city itself is geographically very small—you can practically fit it into Philly’s  Fairmount Park—and since  some of the bordering towns feel like part the city, I’m treating Boston proper, Cambridge, Somerville, Jamaica Plain, and Brookline in the same way I would the five boroughs of New York (then again, you never leave Manhattan when you visit, do you?). Meaning that anyone visiting the city shouldn’t think of those towns as “out there” some where. Because much of the best in Boston isn’t, technically.
And, sure, I know what you’re thinkin’—yes, I’d be happy to give you a tour. For the price of lunch, dinner, and the odd beer in between.

Before we proceed, a caveat:

Don’t be a fool. Boston is a distinctively unfriendly city, and the natives, suspicious and fearful of strangers, tend to be at best sullen and, if they perceive a threat or challenge, downright surly. Don’t try to start any conversations, and for goddsake don’t make eye contact, which, depending on the circumstances, is likely to interpreted as an invitation to fight or to make love, or, worst case scenario, both.

What you have heard in regard to the institutionalized hatred of the Yankees, instilled into every child soon after birth and promoted with a passionate and unwavering devotion that borders on madness, is wholly accurate. This indubitably springs from Boston’s innate sense of inferiority. This is a world class city in every sense of the term, harboring universities, outdoor spaces, sports venues, corrupt public officials, proximity to mountains and beaches, pop and high culture, gangs, social diversity, neighborhood centers, illegal immigrants, publishing, industry, tech, political intrigue … but it isn’t New York. I moved up here from Philly, and Philly, despite its proximity to Manhattan, doesn’t manifest any such borderline-psychotic manifestations of regional sibling rivalry. Philly shrugs at NY and says, “so fuckin’ what?” and goes about its own business (loansharking, race riots, etc). (You must of course keep in mind that a statue of Rocky Balboa stands atop the steps of the Philly Art Museum. Philly identifies with a guy who trains by beating frozen animal carasses until his hands bleed). Bostonians, on the other hand, managed to pull of a case of classic Freudian transference–on a citywide scale–over the course of the 20th century, directing all of their repressed feelings of well-nigh homicidal envy onto a baseball team.

Actually … Boston is a great sports town. The first thing I tend to notice whenever we travel to another city is the dearth of blue caps, because they are ubiquitous here; in fact the city is perpetually awash in blue, be it Sox or Pats. And it’s not sinister at all, though it isn’t the friendliest town I’ve ever been in–it can be chilly. Which might have something to do with the weather, which really does pretty much suck a lot of the time. Winters are longer up here, and that makes for a dour people, I suppose. That said, the people with whom I work are as warm and open as any I’ve met anywhere.

 Just don’t make eye contact. 

  1. Be a Tourist.

First stop in Boston: get your bearings at the Top of the Pru (pic) near Copley Square. Hit the tiny but splendidly stocked  Old Granary  (pic) graveyard a block from Boston Common   (pic, pic) and  pay homage to Paul Revere (pic), John Hancock, Sam Adams, the victims of the Boston Massacre, and Mother Goose (pic) (over 1600 people have been buried in this tiny spot; “old graves often were dug up to make way for new bodies; the spongy ground hastened deterioration.”). I like to gather chestnuts there in the autumn.  Next door: historic Park St Church (park), where William Lloyd Garrison delivered his first abolitionist speech on July 4, 1929.  Walk the Common and the Public Garden, setting of Make Way for Ducklings (pic). Tour Fenway Park (pic, pic, pic, pic). Check out the wabi-sabi hodgepodge of personal garden plots in the Fenway Victory Gardens  (pic) across the street from Fenway Park. See the old colonial world at the amazing Maparium in the Christian Science Center (pic) (do not miss this). Check out the neighborhoods:

Downtown Crossing is a mangy bizarre with a wide variety of stores and lotsa ghetto gear. Must see at Christmas, with the city tree perched on a landing on what was, until recently, Filene’s (pic, pic, pic, pic, pic, pic). Walk south on Washton Ave and you’ll run into Chinatown and the Theatre District.
Fanueil Hall is the regulation standard soul-less tourist square; pray you, avoid it. Same goes for the Financial District.The North End is traditional Italian—Hanover street, for all it’s touristy accretions, is a nice walk, and in the summer, there’s a worthwhile street feast (pic, pic, pic)  almost every weekend.
Allston bills itself as hipster heaven—walk down Comm Ave from Kenmore and draw your own conclusions. I (pic) like it.
Coolidge Corner  (Brookline) is a bit high end, but so’s Brookline in general. But make a stop when you’re taking the Green Line west.
Central Square (Cambridge), on the other hand, gravitates decidedly downwards but boasts a unique conglomeration of shops, clubs, bars, and wandering strays (pic) as well as a refreshing dearth of yuppies. I like Central Square; it’s nondescript, not gussied up at all, and the storefronts all seem to suggest that they’ve been there for a while and will be around for a while longer while trends come and go. Best bets: The Cantab (pic), Harvest Food Co-op (pic), Rodney’s Used Bookstore, Pearl Art (pic), 1369 Coffehouse (pic), The Middle East (pic). Etc! Then walk up the street to Harvard Square (two great shops on the way: Games People Play (pic) is all board games, card games, and puzzles–nothing electronic! and Bowl and Board (pic) is a first-class homeware joint.
Somerville’s Davis Square  and Cambridge’s Inman Square are both home to indie restaurants, cafés, and bakeries, along with their share of lunatics (pic).
Kendall Square hosts the wonder-full the Kendall Theatre (indie/foreign), The Garment District  (pic) (first rate vintage upstairs, used clothing downstairs at a dollar-a-pound), and Cambridge Brewpub and not much else besides. Oh, right, some monstrosity of a university too.
Jamaica Plain is worth a detour: see Doyle’s Pub, below (location for a scene in Mystic River), a temple to Irish Catholic politicians, and the home away from home for more than a few, with over a century’s worth of Boston political ads, photos, and newspapers on the walls. Really has to be seen to be appreciated (pic, pic, pic,).  JP’s also home to J P Licks (pic) temple to ice cream and a diverse community (pic).
 
Ride the T (pic, pic, pic, pic, pic,). Everyone bitches about it constantly, but you can get to every point just cited riding the trains. The Green Line, made up of trolley cars, splits into three different lines, so pay attention. It can also get intensely crowded. Visit Porter Square station to ride the longest escalator I’ve ever seen; spend fifteen minutes in the  Park St Station at 5 pm and contemplate the meaning of “civilization.” Get off at Back Bay Station (pic) for easy access to Copley. Take the Silver line out of South Station (pic)for a fast trip to your terminal door at Logan; if you have more time and the weather’s nice, take the water taxi for some gorgeous views of the harbor from the water.

2. Get political.

Seriously. The Revolution started here, remember? See a king speak at the JFK Institute of Politics (pic, pic, pic) a superb venue open to the public (see video archives). See someone even more interesting at the First Parish Church (pic) in Harvard Square—I’ve been ranted at by Howard Zinn (pic), Ralph Nader (pic), Dennis Kucinich (pic, pic), Patti Smith (pic), Amy Goodman (pic), Noam Chomsky, and others in there. See the party hacks in their cages at the Statehouse (pic) alongside Boston Common. See a movie, attend a meeting,  buy a used book, and study radical youth in their natural surroundings at the Lucy Parsons Center in the South End. Go boo a Spartakist (pic) heckler at one of the countless alterna-political events listed on the ACT-MA Topica list.

3. See a movie or a game.

Kendall Square’s Kendall Theatre always has first-run indie and foreign films. Usually something worth seeing at the Coolidge Theatre in Coolidge Corner—the old theatre is a vision in its own right, and while you sit in your cushioned seat waiting for the movie to begin, it’s easy enough to imagine that you’re there for the burlesque. The Brattle is a treasure—the listings are a movie fanatic’s dream. So are the audiences for that matter. It’s where I go to pick up girls in black-frame glasses when I’ve a yen to spoon down absinthe and babble on till dawn about the later Pasolini. There’s often something interesting at the MFA, and nothing but interesting at the Harvard Film Archive.

For sports, there’s wildly overpriced tickets at Fenway & Gillette (pic), a few miles down the road in Foxboro. In the fall, see a game (pic) in Harvard’s striking old stadium (pic, pic). Head to Brockton for indie-league baseball with the Rox, a cheap ticket, affordable food and beer and parking (pic, pic) . This summer I’ll finally get around to the Cape Cod Lague and the Sox affiliate team in Pawtucket, outside Providence. 
4. Buy a book.

 

There are Borders and Barnes and Nobles all over the place, but you’re in Boston now–you can do better. The Brattle Bookshop’s in Downtown Crossing, not Brattle Square. Great little collection of used books at fair prices. In Central Square, check out Rodney’s—used books downstairs, discounted new and art books upstairs. In Somerville’s Davis Square, McIntyre and Moore has books and vintage art prints. On Newbury Street, you can get coffee and a judicious selection of books at Trident Booksellers. Take the Green Line to Coolidge Corner in Brookline to the Brookline Booksmith (and be sure to check out the upcoming speakers). Two of my favorite book emporiums are a block away from each other in Harvard Square: the Harvard Bookstore (used books downstairs) is not affiliated with the university, but the impressive Harvard Co-op is. Both are sublime. Right around the corner, see The Million Year Picnic’s mindblowing selection of comic books, graphic novels, mangai, etc. Just down the block, Newbury Comics has a small but fascinating bookshelf. Harvard Square’s Curious George (pic)has a wonder-full children’s bookstore downstairs—they carry stuff I do not see elsewhere.  Satisfy your radical hunger at and The Lucy Parson Center in the South End. Oh, and visit the Boston Public Library on Copley Square; be sure to see the Singer Sargent mural “The Progress of Religion” on the second floor (nice set of links here, including shots of individual panels on left-hand menu), as well as the gorgeous main reading room (pic, pic).

5. Buy some real food.

Forget high-end yuppie hellhole Whole Foods and check out the Harvest Food Co-op (pic) in Central Square. In season, hit the farmer’s markets at Copley Square, Brattle Square, and the not-so-farmer’s market at The Haymarket (pic). Get ice cream in Inman Square’s Christina’s and pop in and smell the stupefying selection of spices and herbs next door. Get fresh fish and a hot seafood plate to eat on premises at Morse fish market in the South End across the street from the cathedral. Also nearby, visit Lionette’s Market for free range organic meat—their website is an education in itself, and their homemade handmade happy-pig sausage is one of the affordable options available.
 

6. Drink beer. Eat Food. Drink Coffee.

Boston’s a huge drinking city—surprise, surprise–but it’s also overloaded with soul-less yuppified mausolea, especially in the city proper (Lansdowne St, Boylston St, and the Fanueil Hall area are the worst offenders). The following more than pass muster—you can trust me on this.
The Sunset has two locations and hundreds of beers (Brighton Ave site features 112 taps and 380 bottles; at Comm Ave, you’ll  find 38 taps and 60 different tequilas), good wings, a delicious menu, and beer-sagacious bartenders. And an indispensable beer bible. The Publick House has GREAT beers (27 taps, 180 bottles) and a sublime menu; the “Monk’s Cell” next door specializes in Belgain beers and food). Those three Green-Line accessible joints make up my 4-star restaurant category.
In the heart of the city, Bukowski’s (pic) has a divey feel and a nice beer selection and quirky menu.  Nearby is the Pour House, where the food is both substantial and cheap. Boston Beer Works is right across the street from Fenway and a block away from the Landsdown club strip. It’s somewhat more generic than the others listed here, but the food is excellent and they have a serious selection of homebrews. Jacob Wirth’s is an ancient high-ceilinged biergarten, with a dazzling array of German beers and serious German food—try the combo knockwurst and brats plate–as well as a beautiful old bar. Come to think of it, that’s another 4-star joint.
In Cambridge, Cambridge Common, a few blocks off Harvard Square, has a great set of revolving taps and a reliable menu. The Cantab (pic)is a classic dive in the heart of Central Square and a favorite of mine. You go for the ambience, not the beer. In Somerville’s Davis Square, The Burren serves Irish beers, a great stew, and music ranging from traditional seisins to rock and roll (in the back room). It’s also the best place in Boston to meet your future wife for the first time.

Doyle’s Pub in Jamaica Plain (the bar’s a location for a scene in Mystic River) is a temple to Irish Catholic politicians, and the traditional home away from home for more than a few, from the Michael Collins room to the Kennedy portraits, with a century’s worth of Boston political ads, photos, and newspapers on the walls. Really has to be seen to be appreciated. In the suburbs, check out British Beer Company’s great selection of English brews and eclectic menu.

As for food, gulp down large servings Southern style at Somerville’s Redbones (also has a very  cozy bar with a startling number of taps). For mixing with The Fancy People and slurping down raw seafod,  can’t beat Cambridge’s East Coast Grille, a spot dear enough to me as it’s the place I sucked down my first oyster–yes, some of us prefer to wait until the right one comes along. Wait in line then sit at a picnic table and have one of dozens of inexpensive burgers at Mister Bartley’s in Harvard Square (pic, pic)(expect long lines for lunch on weekends. Closed Sunday I believe). Try house specialty double burgers at the venerable and unique Charlie’s off Brattle Square as well. Take the family for real cheap and real good Mexican food in Downtown Crossing at Rosie’s. Go downstairs at the Exchange Building in Somerville’s Porter Square and find a slew of Japanese restaurants, sushi bars, markets, and stores—I like the open air sushi counter. Try the S & S in Cambridge (since 1919) for slightly upscale diner style plates and  serious jewish deli and desserts. Eat seafood a la carte literally on the water at The Barking Crab. 

For coffee, hands down the best in the city is the Arabian Coffee at Café Algiers (pic, pic), served in a traditional copper pot; get espresso and dessert (along with one of any number of grappas) at Café Vittoria in the heart of the North End; for ambience, my favorite spot in the city proper is Espresso Royal on Newbury Street; in Central Square, avoid the brainsucking boboism of Starbucks and hit the 1369 Coffehouse (pic).

7. Go to church.

Trinity in Copley boasts windows by Burne Jones (pic, pic, pic pic). The St Anthony Shrine near Downtown Crossing has two “churches” (downstairs/upstairs), and the Franciscans additionally offer a wide range of services to the poor and homeless. As well as everyone else. Gay? Divorced? Have a past? Have a habit? You’re welcome here. It’s a holy place. Really. Stop in the downstairs church to see the stunning wooden “Weeping Jesus” (pic); go upstairs to the modernist stained glass windows that tell the legends of St. Francis of Assisi.

Cardinal Sean O’Malley preaches at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross. A decidedly less holy place, but we went to see Tenebrae sung last Holy Wednesday, and it was possible to put aside, briefly, all the church’s wordly pomps. They do not do Tenebrae at The Community Church. There, they do Sacco and Vanzetti. Along with  rabble rousing, singing, and vaguely anarchic community activism—just as they have since they formed in 1913. Ancient—by American standards–Kings Chapel has a historic graveyard of its own right in the heart of downtown, along with lunch hour music performances. I used to like to go and hang out in the Cathedral Church of St Paul opposite Boston Common when the organist would practice in late afternoons. Old South Church, also on Copley, has a beautiful old-wood interior and music in the evening (pic, pic).

8. See a band. And some art.

Avalon/Axis were in the process of remodeling when they were sold to House of Blues. The Paradise has a restaurant and a comfortable balcony area. TT Bears is standing room only. The Middle East has several rooms and good food. The Cantab is a great dive with an eclectic line up. Somerville’s Johnny D’s is a serious blues haven. And I definitely need to get our more. For more classical fare, check out the many offerings at BU—nominal cost music, theatre, and art. Hang around the Berklee.

I can’t say much about the quality of museums and galleries in town, since they pretty much don’t allow the likes me inside, but the brand-new Institute of Contemporary Art, on the South Boston Waterfront, is fascinating and exceptionally designed (pic, pic, pic). I don’t like finding art in cages any more than I do animals, so I’ve always been partial to the kind that prowls the streets (slideshow), though, admittedly, in that regard, Boston isn’t fit to recap the areosole cans of our mad freres in Montreal. 
 

9. Get out of town.

Providence is 45 minutes away. Eat Italian food, or better, “new york system” weiners (pic) and other local delicacies. Walk around during the Waterfire nights (pics)—hokey as it sounds, it’s very beautiful, it seems like the whole city turns out, and there’s salsa dancing in the city’s main’s square to boot.  I have found that a good way to end a day spent exploring the Naragansett coastline (pic, pic, pic, pic).

North and south of the city are some phenomenal clam shacks, featuring succulent whole-clam belly sandwiches—I can vouch for Evelyn’s (pic) and Flo’s (pic, pic). Drive north and see Gloucester, Ipswich (pic, pic) and Salem (Salem is a trip leading up to Halloween and should be seen it’s full lunatic glory, but it’s a madhouse, so take mass transit in October—and wander around town during a less hectic season)(pics here). And Newburyport. And then you might as well go a few miles further and hit Portsmouth, New Hampshire (pic, pic, pic, pic), another favorite town of mine. If it’s summer, don’t miss Hampton Beach (pic, pic), the closest thing to the Jersey Shore I’ve seen up here. I know, you don’t have to tell me, there’s only one Jersey Shore. Though there is Walden Pond (pic), where you can pay your respects to Thoreau (pic).

10. Read the Papers.

The Globe, hosted on Boston.com, is Boston’s paper of record. The Herald is heavy on workingman’s outrage (“state hacks and slovenly union workers are the bane of our existence” pretty much typifies the editorial slant, while the sheet is usually fronted by 48 pt type headlines blaring some ominous warning or other; for a few days, it was variations on “Rats Crossing Charles River via Harvard Bridge”–when it’s The Herald reporting, you can’t be sure whether they’re talking about rodents or Harvard professors). The Phoenix is Boston’s corporate-owned alterna paper–yeah, I know; but it’s thick with listings, provides solid reviews, and it supplies an inordinate amount to the alternative weekly press digest web site. The Dig (pic)was apparently the alternative to The Phoenix’s  faux alterna, but The Dig is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the group that publishes the reprehensible Boston at Night, which, along with The Improper Bostonian, are two freebies best left lying in whatever gutter you found them. As for The Dig, it’s flat; a recent change in editorial leadership has resulted in a weekly collection of blunted satiric arrows shot lazily into the sky.  Barstool Sports is a freebie–it’s schtick is pure neanderthal, but there’s some surprisingly good writing in it. Spare Change is sold by the homeless. It’s worth a buck. The nauseating Boston Common magazine costs $7 a pop and you won’t learn a goddamn useful thing about Boston in it–and there’s nothing “Common” about its target audience–”high-net-worth individuals with household incomes in excess of $200,000,homes valued in excess of $1,000,000, minimum expendituresof $100,000 on their personal credit card annually,” etc. Online, Boston Indymedia is free and worth reading regularly, and UniversalHub is an excellent source of news you won’t find elsewhere.